You may thinking that negative self-talk is just a silent conversation you’re having with yourself, but it is MUCH more insidious. It takes you down a slippery slope to anxiety or depression, lowered goals and performance, and can even ruin relationships, and your business. It’s the Law of Attraction at work!
Why is this silent conversation that you have with your self so impactful? It has to do with the Facial Feedback loop first described by Charles Darwin. Your body cannot help but to reflect your inner emotional state. You may think that no body knows that you’re having these negative thoughts, but it is showing on your face, and in your posture.
Human beings have super skills are reading body language. Even before you open your mouth, a person can read you – and you can “read” others. You have a first impression, and may not even consciously know why.
You never have a second chance to make a first impression.
Researchers studying voter behavior have found that people will make a decision in 1 tenth of one second. In a social or business situation, it’s much the same. If you are at a networking event and don’t have a confident mindset, the people you meet will “feel” it. They may not know why, but it could make them feel that you are not telling the truth, that you don’t have confidence in your product or service, that you are not a “nice” person, or a thousand other assumptions that people make!
It’s up to you to change your mindset
You can choose the focus of your attention. As soon as you hear any negativity in your internal dialog, it’s time to not just turn it off, but turn it around! You can’t just tell yourself, “don’t think of a purple elephant”. You need a substitute thought!
- Have a visualization of a time or an event when you felt great. Go back into your memory banks, and think of a few situations. Then pick the best one and really study that time.
- Write about it out (now you’re using your kinesthetic learning to set the memory) Don’t use “I won’t”, “I can’t” or similar negative forms. The most powerful phrase in the world is “I am”.
- Use a vision board to create a physical representation of a happy event that you are recalling and want to recreate. (here’s a visual learning)
- Have a script ready to say to yourself that is in the present, in the form of a positive affirmation. (here’s an audio way to set the learning)
- Make sure you pull your shoulders back, and get rid of that frown. (here’s your body getting into the feedback loop)
- You might have “power music” that you can listen to, or recall.
- Do you have an aroma, a perfume you wore, a smell you can recall- (get an essential oil to strengthen this effect)
- Say it out loud to yourself if you can. If you are going into a stressful situation, use this visualization before you go.
Make certain you are conjuring up positive emotions, and not just “thinking” of these positive events.
This form of affirmative self-talk and mindset can turn off your negative thinking immediately. With practice, you’ll find yourself feeling more upbeat. And people will “read” this happy, confident persona that you are exuding!
It’s up to you. You must put your best face forward, not just for your internal emotions but for the way you interact with the world to assure your happiness and success. They go together!
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