People tell white lies because they are not comfortable with their communication.
Notice how it doesn’t feel good when you lie? Again, your body will give you a “gut feeling” that something isn’t right. And it isn’t. Do you tell white lies so as not to hurt another person’s feelings? You can be like a politician and answer the question the way you want to – and avoid hurting feelings. But another person’s hurt feelings, when you disagree with them over opinion, is simply their responsibility. Express your opinion using “I messages”; not saying YOU made me…. And that goes back in your direction. Do you get angry when someone disagrees with you?
Remember, anything that ANYONE says is simply their own opinion. (as is anything that YOU say!). If you get angry when someone disagrees with you, that’s giving away your personal power. You are essentially saying to someone “you made me ________”. I know this may sound harsh to some, but no one can “make you” feel bad without YOUR permission!
When you know yourself, what you want, and feel you have the right, and responsibility to ask for it. AND understand the other person has a right to be true to themselves and say no. That is the beginning of respectful, effective and responsible communication. No one HAS to do what we want; and guilting, badgering and manipulating another person may get you what you want, but you’ll be getting it from a resentful person.
So, speak your truth, remembering that it is your opinion. Use “I” messages, taking responsibility for your feelings. Will your opinion be helping someone or hurting them? Your mom probably gave you this great advice when you were a child: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all”.
What do YOU think? Do you need to share your negative opinions?